Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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