She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
