You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
