He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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