Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
