Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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