I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
