it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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