How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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