lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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