ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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