If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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