is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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