dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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