so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
