You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
