Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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