We're like a lot better than the average bears
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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