Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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