I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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