when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
