I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she looked like the before picture.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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