I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
