My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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