So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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