Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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