I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
please come you make the beer taste better
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
