i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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