Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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