I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
