I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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