dude i'm inner monologue high
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
