I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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