great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
