Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
