everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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