I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
