Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
