She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize