Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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