You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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