too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
