I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
