But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
