i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
