This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My bed smells like the plague
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
