in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
