is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
