butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I love you.
Bad choice
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