it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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