Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
