great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
