so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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