I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
