Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
