They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
