I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
