No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i now understand why vodka
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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