Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
