You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize