so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
