my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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