We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize