last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
