I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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