I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
