its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
