Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I believe in your delicious
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
