Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
