he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
