Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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